Sometimes I just need to rant.
I tend to put on a brave face and pretend everything is peachy but in fact I am a mess much of the time. I am a spaz, a worrier, an emotional wreck. I can be very crazy, dramatic and can have crazy mood swings. You could probably see me happy and joking most of the time but inside I am exhausted.
I have many walls built up and I haven't figured out why they are there. It seems to odd because I have been very blessed beyond measure. I have amazing relationships with my friends, family and God. However, sometimes I feel that everything is not as perfect as I make it seem. I struggle letting people in and very few people have seen the true raw emotional me and I am tired of being so together all the time (even though most of my together is much of a mess too). I need to let go of my perfectionistic tendencies and chill.
Its is something I am working on and realizing. I want people to see the me that is be trapped inside. Blah. Sorry for the rant.
P.S. I am not doing this to get sympathy or attention. I am purely trying to examine myself and grow into a better person.