Summer Rant

Sunflower friends have bloomed! Hooray!

Summer is seriously going by too fast at the moment. I go back to college in SIX days! I am pumped and excited (to see friends and get into a 'normal' routine) but sad and not ready (to do school and leave 'home' friends). I am going through some crazy emotions trying to prepare myself for the school that is to come and the people I am going to leave at home. 

So I have been on the go every minute since it hit me that college is soon and the only time to have summer is NOW. I have been cliff diving, Lost watching, friend seeing, restaurant trying, thrift shopping, clothes packing, mom hugging, nannying, reading, sitting, remembering, thinking, creating, laughing, relaxing...to name a few;)

So over the next week the posts will be random (as usual...though I tell myself that I am a pro-blogger and have 'planned' blog posts, ha) because I am trying to soak everything in. 

Oh goodness Sara. This basically turned into a rant about me being unprepared for school and dreaming of a never-ending summer. AH! I should be packing or answering the million emails I have... the life of a college student. 

Much love,

Sara

Sometimes I rant...

Sometimes I just need to rant. 
I tend to put on a brave face and pretend everything is peachy but in fact I am a mess much of the time. I am a spaz, a worrier,  an emotional wreck. I can be very crazy, dramatic and can have crazy mood swings. You could probably see me happy and joking most of the time but inside I am exhausted.
I have many walls built up and I haven't figured out why they are there. It seems to odd because I have been very blessed beyond measure. I have amazing relationships with my friends, family and God. However, sometimes I feel that everything is not as perfect as I make it seem. I struggle letting people in and very few people have seen the true raw emotional me and I am tired of being so together all the time (even though most of my together is much of a mess too). I need to let go of my perfectionistic tendencies and chill. 
Its is something I am working on and realizing. I want people to see the me that is be trapped inside. Blah. Sorry for the rant.

P.S. I am not doing this to get sympathy or attention. I am purely trying to examine myself and grow into a better person.