September 22, 2012

Long Distance Dating (and Friendships)

Reuniting at MOA. :)
Though I am no relationship expertnor do I  have more experience than a 20 year old college student, I find that there are things you can do when trying to keep bonds strong and relationships flourishing while apart. Now, even though Riley and I are only 2 hours apart during the college months (and 10 minutes during non-college times) it can be tough on a relationship. So here is my little advice...

1) Be understanding.
When far apart you can't expect your significant other or friend to travel and see you every weekend and break you guys have. That would just be crazy. Understand that they still love you, but must take time to grow on their own. You both need to have time alone and to experience life alone...which leads me to my next point!

2) Have a life outside of your relationship.
I have watched relationships crumble because they spend too much time together and have basically become one single person. That is not harsh as that sounds. You want to have a bond that 's strong, but don't be obsessive over each other. You need to develop a life (friends, hobbies, activities) outside of the other person. It 's healthy.

3) Make time for each other.
Simple as that. Whether its a phone call, texts, Skyping or really being together make sure it happens. It also makes missing them easier to handle when apart, if you know something good is coming up.

4) A relationship is a two way street.
You must take turns visiting each others places. There cannot be one person who burdens themselves with the total cost and time of flying/driving/traveling to the other persons place. Balance is the key in all relationships.

5) Catch up on life.
Relating back to number 3. Every week Riley and I try to talk on the phone to see what has really been going on,because as much as we do text, you don't know what 's happening in lie. We exchange stories and just laugh and discuss about how crazy this professor is and how the boy down the hall rode a bike through the building. We want to be connected so we take the time to do so.

6) You will miss each other.
And it will be sad.  but you can work through it. I believe in you!

If something is meant to be, it will be. 
You can't force any part of a relationship. Riley and I agreed before starting college that we were (and are) both willing to work for our relationship. We both know though, that there's a difference between forcing something to work, and being willing to work for it. The biggest way that we work for it is that we both know that communication is one of the most important parts of any relationship, and that we know that we can talk to one another when things aren't working out, to problem solve together.

Do there it is..the Sara advice for dating long distance. If you have any additional advice, as always, I love to hear about it! 
Much love,


  1. Yes! Savor the moments you have together! It was when my husband and I were long-distance-relationship-ing that we became so strong as a couple because of the trust we built and because we had time to grow as individuals, too!

  2. I've been in more than one long distant relationship and I can definitely say that this is all sound advice. My past relationships didn't work for various reasons, but I would say a lot of it had to do with him not holding up his end of the relationship. There needs to be equal effort on both sides.

  3. ah! it must be hard, but you guys make it look easy! such a cute couple..

    found the route